Here is my conclusion: "I think this memory sticks in my mind because being in an environment where people interacted freely and were very easy going kind of made me feel at home. Even though at first I felt out of place, by the end of the night, I felt at home."
-I feel I could use some work on summing up my experience. As of now the ending kind of repeats itself and sounds rather cliche. I am trying to come up with another way of saying I felt at home/ comfortable.
Ideas?
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3 comments:
maybe you could say something like, at the beginning of the night we were a room full of strangers, but by the end of the night, it was like we've been family all along?
i donno!! i donno the situation! ha but it's really good!
Be affirmative!
Don't say "I think...." Just BE.
Rather, say "This memory sticks in my mind because being in an[...]"
Also, using funky words to descripe your funky experience may attract readers to want more.
~H
btw your comment on my passage was supr helpful
Gras
~H
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